NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize