that's an acceptable place to lick
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
