i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Me too!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
