No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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