just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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