So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
