I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
