my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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