He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
