you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
