He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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