mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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