the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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