sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
