arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize