guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
