So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
