I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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