Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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