i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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