You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
