Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize