listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
