Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have tasted many bathrooms
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
