Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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