I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
