I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
