I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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