i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
