god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
People in love make me want to vomit
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
