So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
