This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
