it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
