it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
