she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
