we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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