you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
