What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
