You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
