That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
