i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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