I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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