Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i've created a new STD.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
