I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
