You're my little dorito
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
