If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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