At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
