I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
