the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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