I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
