I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
