32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Panties = found
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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