porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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